Sh*t Evgeni Malkin does:

lazyandg:

• Decides to buy Alien/Predator sculptures in Dubai and have them shipped to Pittsburgh to guard his driveway

• Puts a scarf on the sculptures when it snows

• Wears rocket shoes over the sea

• Cuddles lions

• Gets kissed by dolphins

• Takes a polar bear selfie

• Swims with a whale shark

• Dresses like a sultan while in the Burj al Arab in Dubai

• Flexes while wearing just a towel and being pelted by sprinklers (also at the Burj al Arab in Dubai)

• Tours bunkers of former communist Soviet leaders

• Takes photos with the Stanley Cup….while using a urinal

• Catches a hammerhead shark….then has it stuffed

• Paints teddy bears

• Takes photos mocking drunk friends

• Dresses like this 

• And this 

• Pretends to be a sculpture

• Plays with actual sculptures

• Shoots large guns

• Visits bath houses (complete with authentic Russian hat)

• Embarrasses himself in front of dignitaries

• Falls asleep in flower beds

• Beats up small children

• Takes selfies with the goal cam

• Plays himself in odd Russian movies

• Wears 4 sets of pool floaties simultaneously

• Has a crystal Stanley Cup

• Wears eyeball glasses

• Hangs from the guns of tanks

• Thinks everyone looks better with his face

• Owns Halloween

• Wins